03 Nov Self-Esteem, Part 3
Self-Esteem, Part one: click here.
Self Esteem, Part two: click here.
Last time I shared the first 3 steps for building healthy self-esteem.
1. Recognize that you are valuable and unique just the way you are
2. Reject the idea that you are in competition with others
3. Recognize that your self-worth is innate
Let’s look at the next two:
Healthy self-esteem and personal accountability go hand in hand. The fourth step for building healthy self-esteem is accepting 100 percent accountability for your actions and decisions.
You are responsible and accountable for your good and not-so-good actions and decisions It reinforces your belief that others control not just how you feel about yourself, but what you do. But this is what self-esteem is build on: accepting responsibility for your actions and decisions (good or bad), then you will love and accept yourself for who you are; you respect yourself and feel confident to deal with life’s challenges.
As a leader, building the esteem of a team is dependent on the team becoming more responsible for the decisions that impact them. It is not the leader’s role to make all the decisions. It is the leader’s role to multiply to decision making ability of the team. When the leader makes all decisions for the team, he/she communicates to the team that they lack the ability, and that is not an esteem builder. Instead, first provide your team with options/alternatives to choose from. Next, allow the team to recognize and discuss the benefits and consequences to each option. Third, and most critically, allow the team to decide. Finally, you hold them accountable to a decision they made, not one you made for them. The team will be more committed to the success of a decision when they were part of the process.
All along they way, whether as an leader or a team member, the process of participating in decisions and being accountable keeps esteem growing. When mistakes happen, own them quickly and learn from then. Then, move on. Don’t place blame.
It’s easier to accept responsibility for your actions when you have a healthy perspective on mistakes. The fifth step is to appreciate that mistakes are stepping stones to achievements. Mistakes are real, and we are really going to make some…more like a lot of them. This doesn’t mean you are a mistake, or a failure, or whatever your favorite word for yourself is when you mess up. Mistakes enhance our awareness, allowing the opportunity to grow and improve. You cannot correct what you are unwilling to confront. This is why seeing mistakes as learning opportunities builds healthy self-esteem. Mistakes enhance your awareness, allowing you the opportunity to grow and improve.
As a leader, sharing and acknowledging your mistakes increases your credibility with your team and begins to eliminate the fear of failure on the team. Don’t let fear get in the way of transparency. The sooner you acknowledge your mistakes, the more respect you receive, and your team will own their mistakes more quickly. This makes a way for the whole team to improve and work more efficiently and effectively together.
I’ll finish up the seven steps to building self esteem next time. Live and lead inspired!